February 16, 2012

Instructions
I. Darwinian Grammar and its Eventual Undoing
II. The Rand Corporation, John Cage and the I Ching
III. Arbitrating the Arbitrary: What of the Undone?

American is a flexible language. In that sense, perhaps, it differs from the British English. The Brits have a wonderful sense for slang, but even still, rules are rules. American English from its inception was characterized by the influence of other languages - particularly German and indigenous tongues - as well, perhaps, as a desire among its speakers to distinguish themselves from the monarchy they were escaping.

Such malleability may be in keeping with the rebel spirit the country flatters itself as having, but not all paths lead to better places. Over the last decade, one idiom has become so pervasive that it's causing basic misunderstandings in syntax and may be perpetrating a fundamental change in the language. What's worse, the misusage runs the risk of robbing us of not only a useful but a rather beautiful concept.

The word being tossed around with every bit of care afforded a beach ball at a rock concert is "random," a word with a meaning no less specific than "ordinal" or "alphabetical." Take for example the sentence "I just parked in some random spot and now I'll never find my car." What this sentence suggests is that the driver used a process to select without outside influence one spot from the set of those available and parked there, and that the selection process was complicated enough that it somehow can't be repeated in order to discover the location of the car. This, of course, is not what is meant when the word "random" is used - or abused - in such fashion.

Randomization, in other words, is a process. It does not mean the same thing as "arbitrary." In fact, it's quite the opposite. Flipping a coin is a simple example of a randomization process. The first parking spot you see, any Tom, Dick or Harry, or any port in a storm are arbitrary choices made by happenstance or under the hasty influence of external and likely unknown factors. Taken a step further, most people would likely be more comfortable if citizens were drafted into military service randomly rather than arbitrarily. A randomization process could ensure that it's not only minority or low income enlistees who are sent to the front line. An arbitrary process, well, we just don't know.

It's time we return "random" to its rightful place.